Do you know the story of Cleopatra?  She was a woman who contrary to common perception, was not a physical beauty.  Yet she was able, after being ostracized from Alexandria after her brother ascended the Egyptian throne, to seduce Julius Caesar, reclaim her title as queen,  and subsequently seduce Ceasar’s successor, Marc Antony.

How did she do this?  How does any woman captivate us?  Cleopatra was able to make use of her charm and guile to create a persona that caused those pursuing her -in this case Caesar and Marc Antony – to become obsessed with her.  She constantly recreated herself to keep these men interested.  She used drama and theatricality-the first night she met Caesar she smuggled herself into the harbor where he was stationed in a carpet at night with only 1 man to protect her.

Cleopatra was a constant challenge to the men in her life, and just when one man felt secure with her she would change her composure, and would force him to try and regain her favor.  She framed her interactions as one who could never be tamed.  As you can imagine, this drove men crazy, especially those in a position of power, who were use to getting their way.   

Now, why do I tell you this story about Cleopatra?  Because Cleopatra did everything that causes one to be captivated by another, even to the point of being perceived as the higher value party in the relationship when she wasn’t.  Here is what I mean. 

If a woman were to simply approach you and compliment your physical beauty, offering nothing of interest other then to tell you how attractive you were, and then without hesitation freely engaged in a romantic relationship with you, would you find her captivating?  I dont’ think so, and if the roles were reversed, most women wouldn’t either!

This is exactly how most men approach and engage women.  The idea is to constantly provide variety to a woman, constantly transform and express parts of yourself which are interesting and demonstrate who you are.   Women who are even only average looking get approached numerous times a day.   And mostly from guys who have no idea what they are doing. 

How do you express value if you appear needy and frame conversations from a predictable, boring, nice guy perspective?  And when I say “nice guy” I mean someone who is afraid to show personality.  Do you think the opposite sex would find this captivating?  If all you are is polite and respectful, that’s not a personality.  It’s boredom for most women and puts you directly into the friend zone.   

Cleopatra framed herself different from most women…and as men we can learn from her example….come to think of it maybe that’s why we are talking about her 2000 years later..

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