Do you find yourself using the following questions as openers?:

1.  ”So what do you do for a living?”
2. “You live around here?”
3. “You’re beautiful.  What’s your name?” 

Questions/topics like these only make sense after you’ve created attraction.  If you jump to rapport type questions like these before attraction, she won’t feel any obligation to answer them because you haven’t created the desire in her to want to share personal information.  It would be like a man you’ve never met casually asking to see your tax return. Would you answer him?

Attraction is desire.  You become desirable by possessing (non verbal) and demonstrating (verbal) characteristics such as:

1. Intelligence
2. Humor
3. Wit
4. Entertaining
5. Creative
6. Energetic
7. Adventuresome

Attraction is what sets the ball in motion.  It’s what allows you to advance to the next stages of screening and then on to clarifying.  You then have the green light to get her number, ask her on a date, or attempt to take her home. 

Attraction can happen quickly, for instance through non verbals alone as in when a girl first looks at you.  That’s why I’m adamant about doing all you can do to get in shape, find a professional hair stylist, and get an up to date wardrobe.  Make it easy on yourself. 

Now I’m not saying you have to look like Brad Pitt.  Women are far less concerned about looks then men.  Women are more concerned with if you’re making an effort to look your best.  That’s it.  A woman can make that judgement very quickly.  Unfortunately many guys make it easy.  That’s what your wardrobe and body language tell her from the get go. 

If you are overweight, have a bad haircut, and haven’t shopped for clothes since your mom last took you to the mall, your chances of attracting a women is seriously impaired.   What you are broadcasting loud and clear is that you don’t respect yourself enough to take care of yourself.  Now if you’re overweight, have a stylish haircut, are wearing clothes that had a thought process behind them and are designed for your body type, you’re golden.  That’s it.   You’re making an attempt to take care of yourself.  That’s what women want.  And that’s all you can do in the moment.  Although I would strongly add to consult a doctor and begin a fitness program a.s.a.p.

The Dating Matrix  and The Dating Matrix 28 day online program (stay tuned for launch date)   break down the non verbal/verbal skill sets which create attraction.  I also give you exercises to begin practicing them immediately.  The online version comes complete with an interactive accountability record and action step calendar for members. 

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