Usually, I get bored after a short amount of time.  At some point I will convert the girl to a friend or maintain her as a booty call.  I like Jack Nicholson’s way of thinking when asked by a woman to consider a monogamous relationship:  “I’m taken right now…by me.”  It may sound selfish, but it’s honest.  Women who like you appreciate this.  And although you may find it hard to believe, most women I’ve dated know going in that I see other women.  And I’m sure many of them see other men.  Who am I to walk into someone’s life and make assumptions that she doesn’t have anyone else in her life?  Especially given the high value of women I date. 

Anyway, my point today is that whatever frame you’ve developed that’s congruent with who you are and your beliefs doesn’t necessarily need to change when you decide to opt for a monogamous relationship.  If I originally attracted a woman by being intelligent and witty, I don’t all of a sudden get stupid and mushy if I want to let her know I have feelings for her.  You have to constantly calibrate attraction in whatever form the relationship takes. If you’re unable to maintain rapport with attraction, whatever you have  will end quickly. 

If I have successfully attracted a woman, and I know exactly why she is attracted to me, and I would like to continue seeing her on a more than casual basis, I still won’t define the relationship.  For instance, if a woman likes me because I’m non judgmental, confident, fun, and easy, I won’t make things heavy, boring, and predictable.  I’ll continue to be the same person I was when I met her, and I’ll let her be the one to show me whether through words or actions, that she’s ready to go to the next level. 

I’ll give you another example.  Let’s say that you spoke Italian when you successfully attracted a woman and ended up dating her.   And let’s say that speaking Mandarin (no disrespect) would kill the relationship but it better expresses how you feel about her.  What can you do?  You need her to speak the Mandarin.  She has to cross that bridge first.  You have to make it so she wants to hear you speak Mandarin.  The only way I know how to do this is to continue to be the person that first attracted her.  Let her be the one to let you know when she’s ready to hear Mandarin.. 

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