Do you think beautiful women are hit on constantly, everyday, everywhere they go?  Of course they are.  So, if you are saying the same things to them that everyone else is who is getting rejected, why do you think your result will be any different? 

High value women are very skilled at rejecting men – who although in fact may be interesting, exciting, and potentially good mates – because of the sheer frequency of which they are approached.   If you walk up to a woman cold and exclaim, “Wow, you are really beautiful” you are not demonstrating any value.  She probably hears this 500 times a day.  What is different about you saying this?

Being called beautiful is boring to her.  But a man who can represent himself as not being overly impressed or intimidated by her beauty and instead can focus on qualifying who she is as a person is different.  As you get through the program, you will learn to read when a woman is giving you signals of interest.  This often changes your opener and your frame when approaching.  What I see most of the time is guys who don’t have any game immediately try and create rapport without qualifying the target.  Opening with questions such as “Are your from around here?” or “What do you do for a living?” only become interesting for her to answer after you have attracted her.  And by initially showing a strong interest without her first giving signals of interest is not the way to do it. 

If you have read any of my text messages for instance, my frame is one of confidence.  I am coming from the standpoint that I have a full life and one more girl in it doesn’t make much difference to me.  I talk to her like I have known her for years and its really no big deal.  It’s not a state of arrogance, no, it’s more of being relaxed, like being around good friends.  You don’t censure or limit yourself.  When you have this frame, you won’t buy into talking only about pleasant, polite, and asexual subject matters.  Would you be attracted to you if you approached a beautiful and sexy woman and talked about the tax code, for instance? 

And this leads me to another point.  The subjects you pick to talk about say a great deal about you and your confidence.  If you don’t know how to express your physical interest to a woman in a respectful yet playful way, you will constantly be stuck in the friend zone.  Almost exclusively.

Here is a very basic example from my life earlier today:  I went to Fed Ex kinko’s to ship my final proofed manuscript (yeah!) to my publisher.  I couldn’t find the Fed Ex kiosk so I asked the girl for help.

I said, “Hey, did you guys move the Fed Ex kiosk, I can’t find it?” 

Girl says, “No, its right here.”

I say, “Liar, you did move it.  It was over there last time.”  Girl laughs.  

I start looking for the right size package and she’s helping me.

 I say “this one will work.” 

And she goes, “try this one.  It won’t fit in there.  This one will work better.” 

I say, “You told me that last time, and I said you were crazy.”  She laughs. 

Then I say, “You know what, maybe it’s time I start listening to women more.” 

She laughs again. 

At that very moment my phone rings, and I say “Oh look, here is one of my women right now” 

We both laugh.  She then asks me how much I date, how many girls are in my life..etc etc..

This is very insignificant and stupid banter, but I hope it demonstrates the kind of relaxed and loose frame you need to express your personality.  So the question now becomes, how do you get this frame?  Well, it begins with knowledge…from The Dating Matrix..

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