So I’m watching a movie called Sex and Death 101 which is about a soon to be married guy who receives an email listing all the women he has slept with and will sleep with.   Naturally he ditches his fiancée and goes about getting the ass he deserves.  Anyway, the movie was predictably stupid and boring, but there was one incident I want to recall.

One of the girls that he mistakenly believed to be on his list ends up being a girlfriend.  Emphasis on “friend.”  Anyway, he starts dating her and because he really likes her and believes this could turn into a LTR (long term relationship) he completely changes his game.  He eases off the gas pedal of physical escalation.   In fact, his frame becomes her frame, and therefore he never directs the initiation.  It was sad to see, but all too common.

When you find someone you like, the fundamentals don’t change.  Physical escalation is not dirty, malicious, or demeaning.  It doesn’t change with different relationship goals.  Physical escalation and your entire non verbal skill work in unison.  Calibrating them based on her feedback is important, but these elements must always be present to avoid the Bermuda Triangle that is the “friend zone…” 

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