Have you guys seen a Bravo tv show called “Date my ex?”   The basic premise is that some dude is trying to set up his ex girlfriend (for whom he obviously still digs-how beta) with a series of guys he shares a house with.  It’s all very lame considering the “reality” of reality television, but one thing’s for certain:  if you don’t have game you can’t hide it.

Take this one cat.  He gets his chance for a date and decides on a picnic in the park.  He’s from Minnesota and fills the park with snow and trees and other dork alerts.  Mind you this park is in the middle of L.A.  Anyway, the girl arrives via car and he greets her and takes her on a short walk to his masterpiece.   She seems impressed and they begin a little idle chatter.  But after exchanging pleasantries (“Hi, how are you?”)  he begins to melt like the snow under his feet.  He simply shuts down and stops talking.   It was painful to watch.  The girl picks up on this and for the sake of the cameras props this guy up buy directing the entire conversation and even agrees to slide down the hill on her ass.

Now this guy happened to be sincere, sweet and innocent-and those aren’t attraction killers in and of themselves. He wasn’t bad looking, or dressed poorly, or hadn’t showered in a week.  But the inability to have crafted stories, experiences, or even a game plan of what to discuss and how to move the interaction forward to a romantic conclusion killed his chances.  He had no clue how to execute a verbal/non verbal model that could relate his identity in a way that created attraction and therefore easily lead to rapport.   

Talking about where you’re from, family, or where you work becomes relevant when you’ve created attraction.  She only wants to be engaged on subjects like these after you’ve created a desire on her part to know more about you.  Beginning with rapport or what I call clarifying questions is what you’re competition is doing…like our friend Frosty from Minnesota…isn’t it time this wasn’t you?

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