As I have explained to many of you in person and many more from these pages, high value women act different than women who are not of high value.  What I mean by this is that most high value women do not feel the need to participate in 1 night stands.  The reason is they simply don’t have to.  These women have more opportunities with men then we will ever have with women, and therefore if you have the ability to game these types of girls they usually will force you to prove yourself over time and numerous interactions.

The reason I bring this up is 2 fold:

1. Many of you are just focused solely on opening sets and immediate gratification
2. Many of you are intent on improving the quality of women you attract

As you begin to climb the ladder of higher quality women, what happens if you open well, transition to a normal conversation, share facts about yourself which create value and make you interesting, and then end up with a number close?  How do you capitalize on this?

As much as you have a plan and routine (The Dating Matrix teaches this) to execute when opening sets and meeting women in general, you must have as structured a plan of what to do when you meet up for a date.  For example, in the Monday Morning Field Report I agreed to meet “Daniella” at her apartment pool.  But that was really more of an exception, and not something I experience a lot.  In addition, I normally wouldn’t think to invite a woman I just met to join me at my pool.  Now, a pool party is something different, and I certainly would ask any woman I was interested in to join me at such a gathering.

For many of you who lack a social network, however, the idea of meeting at a party or agreeing to meet up somewhere with each others friends is not an option.  This is usually my first choice because it’s far simpler for her to observe my value when friends come and say hi, or I know the owner of the establishment and I introduce her, etc. all of which aids in creating attraction. 

But if your circumstances do not allow for this, I urge you to consider different activities than just meeting for a coffee date or after work drink.  Now for some of you, it can be very effective to do this, and indeed, it’s probably the lowest common denominator among options and therefore done more than others.  But I would suggest you use a little more creativity.

Often times for a first “date” I tell the girl I need to buy shoes, (I’m a complete fashion whore) and that we should meet at the mall.  When I do this, I have a built in backdrop from which to operate.  If we are having fun, it can lead to drinks, or dinner at another venue. 

The reason a backdrop is important is because it can help fill out the occasional lulls in any conversation.  If you are staring across the table from her in a quiet coffee shop and don’t know what to say next, the silence can be far more awkward.  With a backdrop, you have numerous situational conversational pieces just waiting to be pulled out of the air. 

Filed under: Qualifying Date