When I use to struggle with women in my life, I was completely focused on the right words to say for any given situation.  If I saw a guy who was successful at approaching women and initiating with girls I always believed he must have said just the right thing to start that conversation. 

As I have come to learn, however, in most cases I can’t even remember my opening line.  In fact, my opening line is the result of a long chain of events of which it’s the least important item.  How does this make sense? 

Think about this: if you have poor body posture, aren’t dressed to capture the imagination of a woman or express yourself to attract the opposite sex, have very little social intuition and are shy or introverted, don’t believe in yourself and carry very low energy, the words you say when you do finally get near a woman are the least of your problems. 

Being successful with girls is a little like being an NFL player on game day.  All you see is the action for 4 quarters, but it’s what you don’t see that allows the player to be in the game.   The other 6 days, the player is constantly training, dieting, practicing, studying, exercising, etc. 

The rubber hits the road when you approach and initiate with a particular girl in a particular moment.  But the majority of the work is done well before you get to that point.  The fundamentals must be in place and practiced in order to create success.  you can learn all of this from my Dating Advice website.

Can you imagine how much easier it would be if you knew when a woman was attracted to you and wanted you to come over and speak to her?   Well, this is just one of the developments that will begin happening as you become more conscious of your own body and the image you project. 

In fact, once you learn how a girl signals interest, it will be undeniable obvious to you.  You will sense when she has an interest in you…without any pretext you will be aware of her cues…you will then have the confidence to approach…it will fuel your opening…and then you will be you in a conversation (executing the 4 Segments to Conversational Success, of course).

If you were to shadow me in the course of a day, you would probably think I never shut up.  I engage just about every person I come across, be it a smile, saying hello, a question, or a conversation starter.  Male or female.  In most cases, I am simply being confident and friendly, but there are times during the day I will be attracted to a particular woman.  And when this happens, nothing changes in my approach. 

I probably speak to more girls in one day than many of you do in 2 weeks. The point is, interacting with strangers is a skill.  And when you first meet the women of your dreams, she will be a stranger to you.   You have to be good at this, and from my viewpoint, everyday is an opportunity to continue to practice and expand your skills…

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So I’m home Monday night after dinner with some friends bored because I didn’t attend a boat party I was invited to due to weather…the whole holiday weekend the weather kind of sucked her in Miami. Anyway, I start flipping channels and land on E, my favorite network for meaningful and intelligent fare, and started watching “Denise Richards: It’s Complicated.” My God, poor Charlie Sheen. This guy should get the Presidential Freedom Award for consenting to marriage with this woman…but I digress

OK, so she’s a mom two times over, has something like 10 dogs, 2 pigs, and lives with her dad-but she’s still extremely hot. Anyway, her friend sets her up with some guy she knows. The cameras roll as they go on the “blind date.” As Denise enters the bar, the dude is sitting at the bar with his back to the entrance. When he sees her, he nearly jumps out of his seat to give her a hug. But not an alpha hug, an ass out grandmother kind of hug. Very embarrassing. Ms. Complicated is looking at her friend (who is not hot by the way-just more proof that befriending not so hot chicks usually leads to hot chicks) with a bugged out look on her face like WTF?

Ok so later on in this disaster after they’re seated, the dude starts by asking her about movies he’s seen her in and then begins gushing about her co-star Matt Dillon in Wild Things. He then uses the uber clever “Did you grow up in LA?” and follows that up with “Where do you live now?” Thoughts of the Phoenix Suns a la playoff time come to mind.

It’s really incredible to me that guys with no game and no results aren’t actively searching to get the knowledge they need to become successful with women. What I saw is so so common, and so so depressing. Homey never demonstrated any evidence of organized thinking or even the slightest deference to stages of attraction, screening, or rapport building. His frame was her frame, which is essentially no frame.

When playing celebrity game, it’s especially important to control the interaction because girls like Denise will only deal with high value guys. If you don’t demonstrate alpha characteristics, such as controlling frame (not asking about her life but including her while relating value enhancing stories about yours), creating attraction by demonstrating the universal characteristics women desire, screening her by making her explain herself on those same characteristics, and then bonding over shared emotional concepts (family, independence, adventure, etc) it’s game over.

What I just described in a nutshell can be learned by anyone but give you results that put in the top 1%. Speaking of learning you can get great dating advice from my online dating coach

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