I constantly hear how guys who are jerks always get the hottest chicks.  These guys portray an attitude of “I don’t care about you” and “Why should I be interested in you anyway?”  Are women really attracted to this type of man?

Well let’s examine this in a bit more detail.  Women respond to the creative, unscripted, and energetic part of our masculinity.  They find it hard to attach to the linear, logical, and predictable aspect of our male DNA.  Think musician vs. computer programmer.  Which do you think women find sexier?  Why?

It has everything to do with the fact that musicians are in touch with the creative and artistic side of their nature.  Women can relate to this very easily.  It’s exciting to them.  And it translates well into a relationship because these characteristics have a better chance of keeping it fresh and alive rather than dull and boring.  Now that doesn’t mean you need to quit your job and pick up the guitar.  But it does mean you need to find a way to lose the rigidity and pressure of your daily life and connect with the part of your personality that’s a bit more carefree.  The part when no one is around and you’re completely relaxed you find your self being. 

I titled this Spock vs. Tommy Lee because these two are obvious polar opposites.  Spock would attempt to use logic as a means to seduce a woman.  He would explain in very linear terms why they were a good match.  He might say, “We both possess IQ’s of 200, I am from the planet Vulcan, you are from planet Earth and we share similar atmospheres.  You are female, I am male, our species were designed to propagate, etc.”  Can you think of a woman who would be attracted to this?

Now Tommy Lee on the other hand would be far more concerned with living in the moment.  He might use his sense of humor to make funny observations about this particular woman or their shared environment.  He would be smiling.  He would probably have high energy and have interesting stories.  He would be relaxed and wouldn’t try and convince anyone of anything.  Tommy Lee would probably be very unstructured and go with the flow. 

I use these two as an example because they are both extremes.  My point is you must find a balance between them.  If you are too loose, you may appear completely irresponsible and without direction or a purpose and that can backfire with women as well.  On the other hand, being too uptight or rigid won’t give her anything to latch onto to attract her… 

Filed under: General