How many times have you stood by a beautiful woman without initiating a conversation because you didn’t know “the language?” 

It’s possible you could have discovered a mutual connection.  It’s just as possible that, after initiating a conversation, you realized she wasn’t your type.  But, since you didn’t engage her, nothing happened and you were left not knowing.  Whether you want a long-term, monogamous relationship or several girlfriends simultaneously, standard protocol dictates that you make contact by approaching and initiating a conversation. 

Keep in mind, it’s only the tip of the iceberg regarding relationships, but it’s critical because it’s how you get yourself in relationships.  You have to be good at this. 

How is it Done?

Communicating with women is done through flirting, or as I call it, the “Protocol of Flirting“.  This protocol is the means by which men and women communicate with each other.  It’s also how we play together, and how we express our romantic interests.  It is comprised of both verbal and nonverbal skills that relate and express feelings.

Whether you are aware of it or not, you’ve been using protocols all your life.  Protocols, in their most common sense, are merely informal conventions, or informal sets of guiding rules.  When you were a young child, you had certain and specific ways in which you interacted with your friends.  As you grew older, you assimilated and adapted your protocols to different settings and people.  For instance, in an office setting you developed the skills to conduct the duties common to your line of work and to function with your coworkers and superiors.

To some of you, this concept may seem self evident, but in my practice, I see men violating standard and accepted protocols with women all the time.  Until you know the Protocol of Flirting, you will not get the results you desire with women.

Here is another way of looking at it.  If you went to China, would you be better off learning Mandarin Chinese or Arabic?  Of course, to communicate more effectively in China, it would be most useful if you spoke the native language.  Otherwise, you would have to manage by gesturing, making faces, and pointing to things.  If you really wanted to convey yourself at a deeper level and be accepted and understood, you would have to learn to speak the language.  

If you want real success with women, approaching them and beginning a conversation is just the start.  If you want to fulfill any relationship goal, you’re going to have to make the first step, approach and begin a conversation, connect with her feelings, ask for her number, ask her out, pick her up, organize the date, pay for the date, organize another date, initiate the first kiss, initiate the first sexual act, and on, and on, and on.  You are going to have to speak their language…you’re going to need to learn The Protocol of Flirting.

Eric Ivy

The Dating Matrix

Filed under: Flirting