Last Friday I started my night at the Sagamore Hotel on Collins Avenue in South Beach.  The hotel hosts a weekly party called “Social Miami”, and as you can imagine it’s chock full of hot girls and high value women.  It’s both indoors and outdoors and spreads the length of the hotel from the interior bars all the way to the back pool and beach.    

As I made my way past the crowd and through the velvet ropes and into the lobby, I noticed a female friend and casually walked over to say hello.  It turns out she was with 2 other girls -whom she introduced me- and we all stood there chatting for a moment.  We then made our way into the bar area and got situated near some lounge chairs. 

Suddenly, the male friend I had planned on meeting pops his head around the corner and motions me to the back bar.  I excuse myself and walk over to where he is located.  As I turn the corner, I see a funny but tragic site.  The room is full of guys leaning against the bar, and just opposite on the couch are 2 hot women seated in short skirts and a third standing.   You could cut the tension with the proverbial knife.  It was as if there was a moat protecting these girls, and the guys couldn’t cross to the other side.

Immediately I sensed an opportunity.  As my friend engaged the doorman who was next to the girl standing, I walked directly over to the couch (crossing the moat) without hesitation and addressed the two girls sitting “You guys are too pretty…you have everyone in here intimidated…it’s a curse!”  They laughed, and I sat down next to the one closest to me and transitioned to another conversational topic.

I could feel each set of eyeballs burning a hole in me from the bar. I know every guy in there was like, “Why didn’t I do that?  He just walked into the room and went straight up to these girls.  I could have done that.” 

Please, don’t use this line.  Without the proper context, knowledge, etc, it’s probably completely irrelevant for your situation.   There is obviously more to the story but the reason I share this part of the experience with you is because in Wednesday’s blog I discussed the importance of body language and many of the mistakes I observe men do.  One of the most critical is hesitation-especially during your open.

There is a moment before most potential interactions where it becomes obvious to both party’s that someone has to act or the interaction won’t take place.  That someone is you.  It is always you.  And ideally you act before it becomes obvious you have to. 

The structure which comprises The Dating Matrix will give you the knowledge to understand how this process works.  The action steps will give you the practice and know how to put yourself in a position to experience this type of success consistently. 

Filed under: Field Report