It seems that high value women sometime bring out the worst in men.  The hotter the girl, the more creative and ample the excuses are for not approaching her.  Here in Miami, we are blessed with an abundance of hot women.   We are also blessed (for those who have completed The Dating Matrix) with a myriad of men who lack the skills to do anything about it.

Believing that your lack of results with women so far in life is because you can’t think of a great opening line or because you don’t have the best car simply demonstrates a lack of comprehensive knowledge.  Yet, as I consistently experience in my practice, most men say to themselves, “I am a man, and therefore I should know how to approach and be successful with women.”  But why should you know this?  How are you supposed to know how to approach a woman, how to initiate conversation with her, and how to create a romantic relationship if you’ve never studied a comprehensive body of knowledge to learn such information?

Without this knowledge and know-how, most men try to avoid the pain of possible rejection by blaming themselves, or parts of themselves they perceive as lacking.  Using these inadequacies to avoid taking action or following through is really a way of getting oneself off the hook-it’s an excuse.  “The apartment I live in right now is not very nice, and I would need a nice apartment in order to date that type of girl, so therefore I won’t even go over and talk to her.”

To that, I would say, “Well, what if you had a nice apartment?  How would you get her back to that nice apartment?”  By virtue of simply having a nice apartment, would you be imparted with the skills to confidently approach “that type of girl” and initiate a conversation with her?  Would you inherently be aware of the nonverbal and verbal communication skills that could help to convey your interest in a way she understood?  Would you know when and how to use them?   Of course not.  One has nothing to do with the other. 

Now, indeed, having a nice apartment might make you more confident in general, which is good and something most people would agree is attractive, but the specific skills you would need in this instance are not developed unless they are studied, practiced, and implemented. 

Regardless of the shortcomings you believe you have, be careful.  Once you correct any perceived problem, you still have to physically approach women; you still have to open your mouth and begin talking; and you have to follow through with everything that comes after that. 

Once you have learned the strategies and techniques found in The Dating Matrix, practiced them and recorded your results, Ninety-five percent of your fears will disappear.  You’ll view them as completely irrelevant.  Knowledge trumps fear. That’s why I don’t spend a lot of time discussing them.  Instead, I focus on developing the skills necessary for you to be successful approaching, initiating and creating relationships with women you desire.

Filed under: Fears