I’m in tears- of both sadness and joy. The following email is from an old friend whom I occasionally remain in contact with:

Going to X Resort with lady and another couple less the dude (last minute
back out), so really it’s me and two ladies. It is her best friend, so I’ll
have to keep her entertained. . .Met her just over a month ago, gone out
about 5 times; I like/respect her so I’ve been a gentleman and have
progressed slowly–no three pump and dump, “now get the hell out of here, I want to go to sleep”.

The tears of joy are because his erroneous approach to intimacy is replicated by about 99% of the male population, which makes doing what I do akin to shooting fish in a barrel. The tears of sadness are because he’s just one more guy out there who doesn’t have a clue what women want or how to relate to them. Of course, if your goal is to master a textbook blueprint for placing yourself squarely in the “friend zone”, be my guest.

For any of us (I’m beginning to think this number is getting smaller and smaller) who have consistent success with women, we know that putting the brakes on real emotion and handcuffing yourself into a rigid, limiting relational style is not how you do it. Placing a woman on a pedestal because you don’t want to blow it almost ensures that you will. Think “prevent defense” in the NFL. Usually the only thing it prevents is that particular team who employs it from winning.

Women want a man who has the belief in himself to take action and lead. In fact, most women won’t take you serious and certainly won’t entertain a relationship with you if you don’t. How can they? In your mind you’re failure to take action and sit on your hands is a form of “respecting” her. Is there something disrespectful, dirty, or shameful about physical intimacy?

Unfortunately this belief is very common. It’s also something that if subscribed to is indicative of an entire lack of knowledge and experience. I don’t behave this way with women because before I had the knowledge, method and experience to create The Dating Matrix that’s how I used to do it. It never worked out. Now, I have women in my life that I never thought I could be with constantly begging me for a deeper relationship…

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Filed under: Dating Women