For those of you who are part of my regular audience, you know I love critiquing television dating shows. The obvious interpersonal dynamics and the large audiences make it a great learning tool.

Once again, I’ve got to hand it to the Bravo Chanel. Millionaire matchmaker consistently proves that having cash does not translate in having game with women.  The latest tragedy is a restaurant owner age 33 who claims to be worth “8 figures.” Apparently this guy is “connected” in the Hollywood social scene and on the surface shouldn’t have a problem getting a date. Then I see him on a date and know why-but we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
Before the date happens, the matchmaker has her relationship coach talk to our boy. She tells him to “make her feel like she is your girlfriend.” To his defense, this is completely idiotic. What if he doesn’t want a girlfriend? She then follows this incredibly insightful bit with “Give her a hug at the end of the date” and then demonstrates how. Meanwhile our bachelor is asking “when do we have sex, when do we have sex?” It’s all starting to make sense….

During the date, things got much worse. This is really the place where you see if a guy has the interpersonal skills necessary to create rapport and move the interaction toward a romantic conclusion. After what I saw, I don’t think this guy has ever had a conversation beyond “You’re beautiful” or “I’m nice and your nice, that’s nice” with a girl he liked in a 1 on1 situation. Dude had no clue.

Shortly after the date starts, his manager comes to the table requesting his presence due to some emergency. Later, a friend stops by and our boy invites him and his two girls to dinner. All the while his date is rolling her eyes and just not having it. Could hardly blame her. I think he orchestrated these interruptions because he had no idea what to do.
No physical escalation, no conversation, no control of frame or advancing the interaction…need I say more?

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PS My dating advice appears in the current edition of Men’s Health

Filed under: Communicating with Women