As I make the scene in Miami (and elsewhere), it never ceases to amaze me the brain dead non verbal skills (to use a word) unconsciously being broadcast by men everywhere.  While most men worry about the right combination of words to utter -the perfect pickup line- they are forgetting how important what their body is saying about themselves at any particular moment.

Experts tell us that non verbal cues are the predominant method people use to make inferences and perceptions about others.  The breakdown looks something like this: Body Language=55%, Tonality=38%, and Words=7%. 

Since on this planet men must do 99% of the initiating, women are very adept at sensing fear and uncertainty.  Even if a woman is only remotely attractive, she is constantly being approached and hit on.  Because of this, women have an instinctual ability to weed out those men who lack confidence or are unsure of themselves.  Unfortunately, most men make it pretty easy for women to make these determinations.  

Hesitation when first approaching, lack of eye contact, weak body posture, and being distracted by incidental things are just some of what I see.  Add to this the fact that body language is the first criteria by which women judge you only adds to its importance.

Non verbal skills -like verbal- are a diagnostic for women to determine your confidence level.  If you have no game, the way you physically move and hold yourself will represent that. 

Remember, confidence is credibility.  A woman wants to be reassured that you are not going to harm or offend her.  If you begin the interaction physically appearing unsure of yourself, she is going to wonder why you are so, and wonder what you have in mind for her.  Now how many women are going to be attracted to that? 

I don’t want to downplay verbal skills, (a majority of The Dating Matrix 28 Day Program is concentrated on verbal communication) but I believe there is a hierarchy here.  The verbal aspect becomes important only after you have passed the non verbal test….

Filed under: Body Language