Relationship Mgmt
Thanks for the responses fellas. A lot of emails regarding relationship maintenance based on the last blog. So here goes:
To me, whatever relationship goal you have is really secondary to putting yourself in place to meet the woman or women who match your ideal mate profile.
The reason why is because once you start dating someone, if it turns into a committed and monogamous relationship, it generally happens in stages. It’s not exactly socially acceptable behavior to relay these kinds of feelings on the first date. In fact, for the very reason they are feelings, it takes some time to build. Rarely will you be in the same place as she is and vice versa when you begin. So it’s more likely that one of you will feel this way before the other.
And this is exactly why I’m not a proponent of being definitive with women in regards to verbalizing relationship wants and needs. To begin with, women don’t relate well to linear explanations, but more towards the feelings you give them. And in nearly all cases most of these feelings are derived from what you do, and not what you say. And most of the time feelings like this aren’t created overnight. And in almost all cases if you’re doing the right things she’ll be the one to verbalize to you.
Now let’s say you’ve found a girl you want to be in a fully committed relationship with. If she’s not ready to feel the same yet, do you think you’ll convince her to by telling her how you feel? Of course not. If you tell her you’ll do just the opposite; scare her off.
Jack Nicholson said to never define the relationship. I think its good advice at least in the initial stages. The fact is that regardless of your relationship goal, you have to advance the interaction to a stage where it makes sense to begin feeling this way.
Now if you’re after a step by step template…you know where to go…
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