Posted on December 23rd, 2009 by Eric Ivy
Bad dates are only a symptom of bad fundamentals. Ok, there are those rare exceptions when you deal with the occasional off balance freak show, but for the most part your dates should handle like an airplane on auto pilot.
Would it surprise you to know that I repeat my date templates over and over again? Why change what works? I always visit more than 1 venue, maintain attraction throughout the interaction, and breakdown rapport into what it should be: a mutual sharing of each others passions.
If you’re unable to consistently manage your social interactions into rapport, your problem is most likely systemic, not isolated. Ask yourself these questions:
- What is the rapport stage?
- What topics of conversation characterize it?
- What is preventing me from directing the conversation into it?
- Do I have content loaded and ready to go once we’re there?
My guess is that if you aren’t reaching rapport, your idea of physical escalation is attempting a good night kiss on her doorstep. Hello “Friends Zone!” Again, the problem is a basic lack of fundamentals.
A successful social interaction is built in steps, similar to building a house. Would you consider constructing the roof before the exterior walls were framed? Are you aware of how you would be perceived by those experienced in building if you tried such a thing? Are you aware that verbals and non verbals work hand in hand to create a frame that helps you achieve success with women? Most women are aware of this fact…and you should be too.
No Comments »
Filed under: Dating Women
Posted on September 2nd, 2009 by Eric Ivy
Have you ever been on a date and simply could not summon yourself to pull the trigger? I’m talking about when you sensed the moment was right to take her hand, give her a kiss, or put your arm around her but didn’t act? This is probably the number one attraction killer there is. These are the dates women describe to their friends as “He was nice but there was no chemistry.”
What I find interesting is that even guys who have very little experience with women can sense when the moment is right to escalate physical intimacy.
What women don’t understand is why you didn’t act. A lot of women will think that you actually didn’t like them, or they did something to turn you off. Meanwhile you are furious at yourself because you really like this girl.
Welcome to Sexual Anxiety. The result of SA is that you are unable to advance the interaction to the physical plane. The causes are many. One of the most common is your own inner game. A lot of us have been taught that sex is dirty or bad. It’s something to be done behind closed doors and not to be discussed. If we have this perception, it’s going to be mighty difficult to overwhelm it on the fly during a date and make your move. In order to successfully change, we have to deconstruct this internal belief and alter our perception that sex is not bad. It’s biological.
This is one example of how I believe that inner game is the most limiting aspect and the biggest problem for guys have who are unsuccessful dating girls. Now the second part to solving this problem comes down to skill set and practice. If this is you, I have the solution:
You can now get Dating advice from my online dating course that acts as your dating coach and whats more you can take 2 modules free now.
Online Dating Course
No Comments »
Filed under: Communicating with Women
Posted on June 9th, 2009 by Eric Ivy
There are a lot of different schools of thought regarding becoming skilled at social dynamics. There’s also a lot of uniformity in terms of what works and what doesn’t. In fact, there’s tons of theory available from an empirical standpoint if that’s your thing.
But the bottom line is if you are going to get good at finding yourself in relationships with women you desire, it’s going to take work. You’re going to have to get some dirt under your fingernails. My online program is one of a kind and designed to deliver a customizable and personalized knowledge base and an action plan to execute it. But it still requires work. You can’t outsource the doing.
It takes work to learn a new way of thinking and representing who you are as a person. Work to force yourself into social situations which at first may seem very awkward. Work to become aware of your sticking points.
Get started now
1 Comment »
Filed under: Dating Course
Posted on May 16th, 2009 by Eric Ivy
Overcoming social anxiety usually requires new skill sets. The skill sets that I teach are designed for you become comfortable with yourself so that you can initiate conversations, feel and create attraction, deepen rapport, introduce sexuality, date, and manage relationships.
The goal is that you integrate these skill sets so that internally you give yourself permission to do these things successfully. There is a saying that goes something like: whatever a person believes is true. If you don’t believe women can be attracted to you, you probably won’t approach them. However, if you did believe that women are attracted to you, I imagine you’d be approaching women whenever you liked.
The skill sets exist only to give you a template to follow and demonstrate success so that you begin to believe in yourself. After this point, they become far less important. Just like a “natural” with women doesn’t need to be told what to do, neither will you when begin to share that same inner game…
Eric Ivy
Dating Coach
No Comments »
Filed under: approaching women
